Archive for December, 2008
North Pole – Who’s the greatest businessman of all-time? No, it’s not HenryFord, nor is it John D. Rockefeller. Donald Trump? Give me a break.
The greatest businessman of all time is, without a doubt, Santa Claus.
Think about it. He gets repeat business as his customers return year after year. He has a factory that churns out toys 24/7 with little overhead and no union disputes. He has loyal employees; of course, there aren’t a lot of jobs elsewhere for elves these days.
He has a promotions department that secures prime visibility in crowded malls and gets him grand marshal positions in the Rose Bowl Parade. He also has a public relations staff that writes songs, poems, and even produces television shows with him as the star. And talk about customer service. He knows what you want, often without your even telling him.
But, sometimes I think Santa Claus is slipping a bit the last few years. He hasn’t really embraced new technology very well. His workers still use basic tools from the pre-Industrial Revolution. When I went the visit, I could hardly hear myself think through the din of all those little people and their hammers. His mode of transportation still involves livestock (and don’t tell me one animal with a light bulb on his nose is innovative). His ordering process is downright archaic. I mean, who writes letters any more?
What Santa Claus needs is mobile marketing. Worldwide, 2.3 trillion text messages were sent worldwide in 2008, but how many of you have ever received one, or sent one, to the North Pole? Moreover, 15% of those 2.3 trillion text messages are considered text message advertising. Don’t you think a text message blast would be a great way for Santa to get rid of some of his closeout inventory? I hear there’s a warehouse at the North Pole that still has half a million eight-tracks in it!
Did you ever watch the late news on television on Christmas Eve? There’s usually some cheesy graphic there with a picture of Santa flying over some other country. In the eastern United States, I think he’s usually in the Czech Republic during our 11 o’clock newscast. Well, I’m an insomniac and I often stay up late playing fantasy baseball or online bingo—even on Christmas Eve. I would love to get a text message alert to know when Santa’s getting close to my hometown so I can get to bed on time. If US Airways can even notify me of their flight arrivals by text message, I would think Santa could with all those clever little engineers he has on his staff.
Ordering is another issue. How many of you still have envelopes and stamps in your house? Plus, there’s the issue of the postal service losing your snail mail. I’m still waiting for the Lamborghini I ordered last year.
With text messages, we could send in our Christmas lists to Santa Claus through a vanity short code, say 84444. With an easy-to-use online interactive text messaging solution, Santa could confirm receipt and even tell you if you’ve been bad or good.
Maybe that’s what happened to my Lamborghini.